I insist I've grown wiser—
I am no longer
craving the whirlwind,
chasing the emptying spill,
outside of myself, forward, too forward,
tipping and humping forward,
sharp-toothed,
knowing no still seat.
Because I have been that craving creature
I can tell now something is different.
The yearning tug is already pleasure.
Underneath the motion it compels
is no motion,
nowhere to go.
Home.
Home sings out from inside of me
and echoes from every face.
And all the more so from faces
bright at the sight of me,
who see what I've become
and what is coming,
your face,
my glow reflecting your welcoming,
your irrepressible newness,
prefigured in the projection of waking dreams.
You take my hand and squeeze it
in both of yours. You are young— no,
fresh, yet old,
blessed old,
with the smile of one who
has learned to be held upright by
buffeting winds, who hears in their roar
the friend's teasing laughter.
I too am steady. Yet.
Will gratefully fall
into your gaze, its swaddling quiet…
Will press gently against your cheek
with mine, touch
temple to temple,
stretch into a shared
rise and fall of breath. Of chest
and belly. Of sinews pulsing with
blessed fire. Of lines of story
lit under damp skin.
Will trace the rise and fall that gives
new meaning to old stories.
I am still amazed that I do not
need to ask, do not need to explain.
We already know each other better than
we can say, somehow…
I do not trouble this knowing
with coarse movement.
Shy in the presence of holiness.
Mute. Listening
like willow waits for wind.
Ready to bend.
Already overflowing.
Already grateful.
This is not the first step in our
journey together. No—
See, love,
look, love,
even as we set out again,
again and again,
we rest in each other,
already and always home.
---
*September 2024*